At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
