i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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