If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
40s are totally the cure
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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