Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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