2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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