When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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