that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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