Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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