There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
