mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
