it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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