Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
