just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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