evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
