I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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