well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
