Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
