Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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