im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
