how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
