Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize