dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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