If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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