I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize