Redeem this text for a blowjob
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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