I'm really into asian looking animals
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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