Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
