He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises