I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
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Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
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My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I think i got beer on your cat.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize