it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
