can u get pink eye on your cock?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
