i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
