Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
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