yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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