Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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