Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize