She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
