I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize