I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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