We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
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i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
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There's a naked man in my car right now.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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