FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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