chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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