Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
