I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
