I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
