you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize