Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize