this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
