He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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