It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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