every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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