I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
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The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
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It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize