I forgot how hot balto sounded
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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