You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
