Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
